I suppose that because of the nature of this blog, I should probably update it on a regular basis...just so anyone who is even remotely following it won't think I'm dead or hospitalized.
At this point, we're waiting for the man to get his new supply. First, it was "this morning", then it was "probaly at 4pm"...I know he didn't get his shit at 4. A drug dealer hooking up with another drug dealer? No way that happens on time.
Going to call after work at 7...maybe a 3 hour window is enough. He gave us some bunk shit last night. It was almost white and powder, but not in a good way. It must have been his "if I have nothing else I can sell this" stash, and it did nothing for us. A waste of money. Well, now I know what to accept and what not to.
I have to expect that he doesn't get his new stash today. That will make for a junk sick night full of sweat, chills, and overall sleeplessness. I feel a little ick...but my girl just let me know she is sick. Here's to hoping our dealer wants to make money tonight.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Why I Like Junk
I certainly have posted a whole lot of negative shit about my lifestyle. Let me tell you what I like about heroin.
I like the smell when it cooks up...It heightens the anticipation of the high that's coming.
When the needle hits my vein, it hurts a little, but in a nice addictive way like when you get a tattoo. First, a little blood comes out, then it rushes back in along with the liquid gold or brown...and then it comes over you. The big high.
Oh, the problem with the high? You can't top it. It makes vicodin out like aspirin. Weed is nothing.
I was a heavy drinker. I haven't been drunk in weeks. Forget AA...you want to cure alcoholism? Heroin. If only it wasn't addictive, huh?
Bottom line...it is a great drug, and it's going to be hard to quit for good.
I like the smell when it cooks up...It heightens the anticipation of the high that's coming.
When the needle hits my vein, it hurts a little, but in a nice addictive way like when you get a tattoo. First, a little blood comes out, then it rushes back in along with the liquid gold or brown...and then it comes over you. The big high.
Oh, the problem with the high? You can't top it. It makes vicodin out like aspirin. Weed is nothing.
I was a heavy drinker. I haven't been drunk in weeks. Forget AA...you want to cure alcoholism? Heroin. If only it wasn't addictive, huh?
Bottom line...it is a great drug, and it's going to be hard to quit for good.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
3 Days Off
Have to go visit the probation officer tomorrow. Would they drug test me two months in a row? Probably not, but I can't take the chance...at least that's what my girl keeps telling me as she hides the junk she just picked up. I can have my hit once I make my meeting at 8:30 AM.
Chills come and go. I'm coughing up shit in my lungs...and I've got a nice case of diarrhea on top of that. Hooray.
I slept for 36 straight hours. I then got up for a few hours, then it was back in bed for multiple hours. I made it through work today, somehow.
Is it worth it? Heroin?
Yep.
Chills come and go. I'm coughing up shit in my lungs...and I've got a nice case of diarrhea on top of that. Hooray.
I slept for 36 straight hours. I then got up for a few hours, then it was back in bed for multiple hours. I made it through work today, somehow.
Is it worth it? Heroin?
Yep.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Good Night
My brother lent me some money...so I went to see Vince, of course.
Is it strange for the third person to find out I'm getting married to be my dealer? Hey, small talk when you do the exchange...you have to talk about something.
When your dealer lives 20 miles away, it's a long drive...on the way back. The anticipation accelerates the withdrawals you might be having and it takes a shitload of willpower to not drive 90 miles an hour back to the apartment. Yes, you don't want to get pulled over with a suspended license, expired tags and junk on your person. That is possibly a violation of your probation.
Tonight is going to be good. One hit so far, and my cold disappeared. Shit, you have any sickness in your body at all, take a hit. Heroin will kick the fuck out of any cold. Nothing trumps junk.
Is it strange for the third person to find out I'm getting married to be my dealer? Hey, small talk when you do the exchange...you have to talk about something.
When your dealer lives 20 miles away, it's a long drive...on the way back. The anticipation accelerates the withdrawals you might be having and it takes a shitload of willpower to not drive 90 miles an hour back to the apartment. Yes, you don't want to get pulled over with a suspended license, expired tags and junk on your person. That is possibly a violation of your probation.
Tonight is going to be good. One hit so far, and my cold disappeared. Shit, you have any sickness in your body at all, take a hit. Heroin will kick the fuck out of any cold. Nothing trumps junk.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Symptoms Have Moved Up In Their Schedule
My clothes cling to my body due to the light layer of cold sweat all over me. I get uncomfortably warm and then cold. I try to act like I'm normal, but I can't stop thinking about getting another hit.
What's shitty is that this is hitting me just a little over 24 hours from the last hit. This normally hits me over two days later...the symptoms are stepping up.
The next two weeks won't be fun. Money is tight right now due to paying rent, and my girlfriend has bills she can't put off. Yeah, this is going to suck. We were able to get a half today, which comes to 3 hits each for us...we'll do two tonight and one tomorrow so that she can get through work and I can get through the day.
What's shitty is that this is hitting me just a little over 24 hours from the last hit. This normally hits me over two days later...the symptoms are stepping up.
The next two weeks won't be fun. Money is tight right now due to paying rent, and my girlfriend has bills she can't put off. Yeah, this is going to suck. We were able to get a half today, which comes to 3 hits each for us...we'll do two tonight and one tomorrow so that she can get through work and I can get through the day.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thank You, Netflix
The convenience and pricing of Netflix allows me to feel perfectly fine with selling a bunch of DVDs that I just don't watch anymore, because if I want to see "The Royal Tenenbaums" again, I can get it in a couple of days. Apple Computer has done the same thing for me in regards to CDs because I have all the songs on my computer at home, at work and on my iPod. Also, you can get any song you want to listen to just about in the "Music" section of Myspace if you haven't noticed. Unlimited playlists are great.
Fuck the CDs and DVDs...I want junk.
Fuck the CDs and DVDs...I want junk.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thievery
One of the major signs that you have a drug problem is when you steal in order to pay for your drug habit. Usually a junkie takes things from their friends or family because it's quick and easy...and they have no regard for anyone but themselves and getting their fix.
My girlfriend and I are not like that. I hope we never get to that point. Those type of addicts are unemployed and homeless. We pay our bills on time and each have a full time job. However, we dabble in shoplifting. Okay, not "dabble"...we steal on a regular basis.
We mainly take groceries because not paying for food lets us spend that money, of course, on junk. We probably wouldn't do it as much if it weren't so easy. You take actual food...stay away from alcohol or items in the pharmacy section. Those are the most heavily watched as bad thieves go for that shit. No punk thug wannabe or bored teenager is going to 5-finger discount a loaf of bread.
What you do is take those bags they sell that you can use instead of paper or plastic. Go to the grocery store during a really busy time, like 5 or 6 pm weekdays or in the afternoon on a weekend. You walk through the store and fill your green bags to a reasonable level. I usually do 1 or 2 bags...any more and you'll probably draw attention and have the employees wondering why you didn't grab a cart. When you're done, you casually work your way to the side of all the check-out lines and head to one of the entrances where there is a greeter. They don't usually check people's receipts as they leave, so you can just stroll on by. We've never been stopped.
If you do get asked for a receipt, just keep walking. They can't touch you or physically stop you from leaving. Even security guards can't lay a hand on you...only the police can. You may want to make sure there's no cop car around if you're truly paranoid.
This is just a blog telling you what we do, but it's not me encouraging you to commit a crime. Stealing is wrong...at least that's what the Bible says.
My girlfriend and I are not like that. I hope we never get to that point. Those type of addicts are unemployed and homeless. We pay our bills on time and each have a full time job. However, we dabble in shoplifting. Okay, not "dabble"...we steal on a regular basis.
We mainly take groceries because not paying for food lets us spend that money, of course, on junk. We probably wouldn't do it as much if it weren't so easy. You take actual food...stay away from alcohol or items in the pharmacy section. Those are the most heavily watched as bad thieves go for that shit. No punk thug wannabe or bored teenager is going to 5-finger discount a loaf of bread.
What you do is take those bags they sell that you can use instead of paper or plastic. Go to the grocery store during a really busy time, like 5 or 6 pm weekdays or in the afternoon on a weekend. You walk through the store and fill your green bags to a reasonable level. I usually do 1 or 2 bags...any more and you'll probably draw attention and have the employees wondering why you didn't grab a cart. When you're done, you casually work your way to the side of all the check-out lines and head to one of the entrances where there is a greeter. They don't usually check people's receipts as they leave, so you can just stroll on by. We've never been stopped.
If you do get asked for a receipt, just keep walking. They can't touch you or physically stop you from leaving. Even security guards can't lay a hand on you...only the police can. You may want to make sure there's no cop car around if you're truly paranoid.
This is just a blog telling you what we do, but it's not me encouraging you to commit a crime. Stealing is wrong...at least that's what the Bible says.
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