How To Start...

I chose to be anonymous on this profile so that I could talk openly about my new drug of choice. I am currently on probation for alcohol-related arrests, so it's in my best interest to keep my name and details off of this profile and blog altogether.

I've been a heavy drinker for years. I love the bar scene in my city, and sitting in a smoky room filled with booze is one of my favorite things in the world. The lifestyle has taken its toll, however. As I mentioned previously, I'm on probation due to a number of public intoxication and driving under the influence arrests. Because of this, I don't go out like I used to. I'm in my 30's now, so it is probably a good thing I started to slow down.

When it comes to other substances besides alcohol, I never had much interest. Pot makes me more aware of personal failures, so I rarely have a desire to smoke that shit. Coke is...eh. It lets you stay up longer and drink, but I don't like having to talk to the asshole who has the coke just to get another bump.

I've dabbled in pills over the past couple of years, but it wasn't really anything I was crazy about. Then, last year, I tried heroin.

Yum.

The first obstacle for me was the whole needle thing. I had my friend who uses shoot me up in the beginning...and I wouldn't look at my arm. Hell, no! I was scared shitless.

But then, it happened. It was like that feeling you get after your first couple of tattoos. You start liking the pain, and you want more. It also didn't hurt that mainlining junk gives you that...rush. I shoot myself up now.

I don't get high every day. I can go without H for several days, although the first 48 hours without it aren't what I would call pleasant.

There is such a stigma with heroin. I thought it would be a really big deal and immediately turn into a self-loathing junkie like you see in the movies. It isn't that serious. It is like anything else...moderation is key. Don't spend your rent money or food money on it. It's also not very expensive if you have the right hookup. It's bout the same amount of money you would spend for you and a friend to go out boozing it up at a club.

It's just weird, though. Hanging out with musicians and other entertainment industry people...they'll talk about the different drugs they do or have done, but nobody really brings up heroin. And I know some of them have to have done it, or they are currently doing it.

I am aware, of course, the body count tied to junk. I don't know why I think I'll be able to continue using without experiencing permanent damage to my body or life. Maybe I just don't care right now. My girlfriend and I both are enjoying ourselves, so I guess until it becomes a problem, I'll continue to shoot 'em up.

One thing I find interesting is that I've really cut down on my drinking since I started on junk. I've only been drunk 3 times in the past month. I've been getting to work on time or early because of this...That's always been my one problem in my job, and now I"m finally improving on that. Thank you, heroin. Heh.

So that's how we'll begin. It's time for me to get another hit, so I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my day off.