Posting as an Update

I suppose that because of the nature of this blog, I should probably update it on a regular basis...just so anyone who is even remotely following it won't think I'm dead or hospitalized.

At this point, we're waiting for the man to get his new supply. First, it was "this morning", then it was "probaly at 4pm"...I know he didn't get his shit at 4. A drug dealer hooking up with another drug dealer? No way that happens on time.

Going to call after work at 7...maybe a 3 hour window is enough. He gave us some bunk shit last night. It was almost white and powder, but not in a good way. It must have been his "if I have nothing else I can sell this" stash, and it did nothing for us. A waste of money. Well, now I know what to accept and what not to.

I have to expect that he doesn't get his new stash today. That will make for a junk sick night full of sweat, chills, and overall sleeplessness. I feel a little ick...but my girl just let me know she is sick. Here's to hoping our dealer wants to make money tonight.

Why I Like Junk

I certainly have posted a whole lot of negative shit about my lifestyle. Let me tell you what I like about heroin.

I like the smell when it cooks up...It heightens the anticipation of the high that's coming.

When the needle hits my vein, it hurts a little, but in a nice addictive way like when you get a tattoo. First, a little blood comes out, then it rushes back in along with the liquid gold or brown...and then it comes over you. The big high.

Oh, the problem with the high? You can't top it. It makes vicodin out like aspirin. Weed is nothing.

I was a heavy drinker. I haven't been drunk in weeks. Forget AA...you want to cure alcoholism? Heroin. If only it wasn't addictive, huh?

Bottom line...it is a great drug, and it's going to be hard to quit for good.

3 Days Off

Have to go visit the probation officer tomorrow. Would they drug test me two months in a row? Probably not, but I can't take the chance...at least that's what my girl keeps telling me as she hides the junk she just picked up. I can have my hit once I make my meeting at 8:30 AM.

Chills come and go. I'm coughing up shit in my lungs...and I've got a nice case of diarrhea on top of that. Hooray.

I slept for 36 straight hours. I then got up for a few hours, then it was back in bed for multiple hours. I made it through work today, somehow.

Is it worth it? Heroin?

Yep.

A Good Night

My brother lent me some money...so I went to see Vince, of course.

Is it strange for the third person to find out I'm getting married to be my dealer? Hey, small talk when you do the exchange...you have to talk about something.

When your dealer lives 20 miles away, it's a long drive...on the way back. The anticipation accelerates the withdrawals you might be having and it takes a shitload of willpower to not drive 90 miles an hour back to the apartment. Yes, you don't want to get pulled over with a suspended license, expired tags and junk on your person. That is possibly a violation of your probation.

Tonight is going to be good. One hit so far, and my cold disappeared. Shit, you have any sickness in your body at all, take a hit. Heroin will kick the fuck out of any cold. Nothing trumps junk.