Why Do I Do This?

False alarm. I didn't quit when I had three days off to recover. Why? Because fucking Frank contacted me letting me know that "the DVDs came in, and they're really good".

Well that's just great, Frank. As soon as I wanted to be clean, the good junk becomes available after a week of shit from G-money.

Today I'm at work and I'm down to my last hit. No more money to get stuff...this is it. My girl and I have medication to take to help alleviate the withdrawal symptoms, but it doesn't help as much as a big ol' needle full of golden brown poison. It sticks in you, and you see the blood mix with the junk as you pull back on the plunger, then you push it in. Everything goes away and you're left with feeling normal again. Scratch that. You feel great. Bring on the world.

What to do when all that's gone? I'm going to have go to work during withdrawals for two days, then day 3 I'll start to feel normal-ish, but then I'm dealing with the mental part of craving junk...which is almost worse than the physical part. I start trying to figure out any way I can to get money. What can I sell? What can I steal then sell?

It's no way to live. I need to stop the cycle.